How’s Your Momma and Them?

There is one sure way guaranteed to lift my spirits. I walk out to where my horses are hanging around- quietly grazing, snoozing or playing together and sit down to watch them from there on the ground.

I am from the North where Southerns often accuse us of being rude. I am one of those Southern Yankees. I was always in the mindset that I was wasting time – mine and theirs – if I didn’t just get down to business with someone. I thought it was unprofessional to chit chat before I told them why I called or why I was there. I would get so impatient when I had an agenda and they wanted to make small talk. It just seemed so inefficient. Finally, I realized the value of establishing a relationship with anyone I interacted with. I get better service, loyalty, favors granted, make better friends, help is offered willingly, etc. What was I thinking? This is a way better way to go through life. Take a little time to make someone feel special and let them know that you care enough to see how things are going with them before putting in a request. Okay, if that truth is so simple, why do we not do the same with our horses ? So many of us go get our horses with an agenda all planned out – our agenda, not the horses. We don’t stop to give them a few minutes of just saying hello and let them know you are glad to see them before we start taking over. We slap a halter on them, lead them to the ties, groom them, saddle them up, climb up and expect them to take good care of us without so much as a “How are you doing today?”

We are friends

Although I love to be near my horses and spend hours at the barn, it is rare that I am not there for some other reason than just hanging out for awhile without trying to get something done. It took somebody to actually teach me the importance of creating a personal bond with my horse for me to realize the difference it makes. We all go under the premise that a horse wants and needs the human to be the leader. That is true to an extent. A horse really wants to feel safe and will gladly submit to a leader he trusts. We cannot gain that trust by demanding it. We need to earn it by showing him that we are his friend first. Try spending some time alone with your horse with no distractions and no agenda. Take off all the ropes and halters. Make just for them. See how long it takes before they stop looking for other herd members and turn to you. It will give you a pretty good idea what your horse thinks of you.

Good News Travels Fast

The soft nickers and nuzzles, the majestic beauty and speed – The private comical antics are an envious treasure indeed.

It has been at least three years since Dallas resided on my farm. He was a gorgeous retired show horse who didn’t know how to be a horse. He had to learn how to make friends and respect the social order of the herd. He had never been allowed to play with other horses in order to keep him from getting any injuries or marks on his perfect coat during his show days, so he was a little slow making friends at first. He had always been a “hot house flower” and got the best care. This included the best food, hay and treats – and he got them often. This fact is what made him very popular very quickly. It didn’t take long before the others figured out that when we called “Dallas” that it meant something good was coming and no one wanted to mess up a good thing. Although the treats and extra servings of feed were earmarked for Dallas, I always felt guilty about showing favoritism and made sure everyone got a couple of bites of something good every time he got something. The others all wanted to be his best friend and get in on the goodies. In a very short time, when I called “DALLAS”, the entire herd would come thundering over the hill and race down to the gate.

They come running.

Dallas was eventually moved to another state, but the tradition remained. All I had to do to get the entire herd down from the pasture is to call out “Dallas” and they would come running. The funny thing about this is that not only the do the horses who were here and experienced the benefits of responding to that call run to the gate, but the information has been passed along to the new horses who have come to live with us since Dallas has left. Somehow, it has been communicated to them that when we call out that name, it means dinnertime. To this day- and it has been years now – that is how I call my horses.

Not a Happy Camper

I need to maintain that bond between us that took so long to build – I give her thanks everyday for the void that she filled.

Dixie had been impounded by the rescue team and I ended up with her, thank goodness. What a wonderful horse. She is a remarkably bright and beautifully marked paint mare. So wonderful that I decided to breed her and got the foal of my dreams as a result. When her colt was about 11 months old, an offer was made to purchase Dixie. I had been giving a very good friend’s granddaughter lessons on her for awhile and the little girl loved her. I knew these people and knew they would give her a great home. I had 5 horses at the time and money was tight, so I agreed to the sale. As I was getting Dixie ready to make the move, something just didn’t feel right. I cried like a baby as I brushed her before making that trip. I continued to give the little girl lessons on Dixie at their farm every week. For the first couple of months, it went beautifully. Dixie would always look for me and sniff my clothes for signs of her colt and the other horses she knew so well. I started noticing a change in her attitude. She became increasingly more difficult to saddle up and let me know in no uncertain terms that something was not right with her world. Over the next month, our lessons got more strained. It got to the point that I was not comfortable putting a child on her and truthfully, was leery of even riding her myself. It felt like she was going to blow. Not the Dixie we all knew and loved. I started voicing my concern to my husband who absolutely did not want to hear it. In his opinion, it was about the money and did not see it from either Dixie nor my point of view. I couldn’t get it out of my mind. It was like Dixie was screaming at me to take her home and I couldn’t ignore it. I scraped up most of the money to buy her back and called the new owners to make an offer. They refused. Now the elephant was not only in the room, it was sitting on me. These were very good friends of ours and I had to tread lightly in addition to not going into battle with my husband over it. But I knew that somehow I had to bring her home. Finally, I wrote a letter to our friends in which I reminded them that I was going to limp the rest of my life because I did not pay attention to the signals and could not in good conscience put their grand daughter on that horse in that situation. I enclosed a check for the full amount of what they paid and picked up my horse. I never heard any more about it from them and we have never discussed it. I am not sure exactly what I told my husband or if he realizes I finagled our checking accounts to pay for her. From the moment she stepped off that trailer, all was right again. She immediately ran to her son, said hello to the rest of the herd and settled in.

Good to be home.

She was where she needed to be and went on to be one of my best horses – still is. Every little girl wants to ride Dixie. I am sure  most people think this was all in my head and that I just wanted her back. It doesn’t matter, she’s happy, I am happy, her colt is happy and dozens of children are happy when they get to ride her. It all works out for the best if we pay attention to the signs.